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                                    "an explosion", she said
                 I turned to ask her what she was talking about when I
       caught sight of the tv screen, and for the tiniest of moments I caught
    myself thinking that there's something beautiful about that much energy and
 so much destruction; energy - would it wipe me off my feet? maybe melt the skin
right off of my bones? heat, death and poison, I don't believe there's much you or I
would be able to feel dying in those flames, and I should probably be ashamed that I
                            sitting comfortably in my living room
                                                 can
                                                have
                                                those
                                                 way
                                                 too
                                                 ca-
                                                 sual
                                             thoughts;
                              but a lot of people die everyday
                     and to decide to cry for all of them would be
                              to give up breathing for yourself
Concrete poetry has been a mystery to me for a long time; today, I decided to give it another go.

Form inspired by this picture.

13/6: wow, a Daily Deviation! :onfire: Thanks for the feature, and for every fav and comment on this piece, I feel very flattered. :blowkiss:
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2013-06-13
mushroom cloud is an explosion of simple, powerful ideas by ~miserabel. ( Featured by neurotype )
:icondays-be-strange:
days-be-strange Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is really good. Probably one of the best examples of concrete poetry I've ever read. 
Reply
:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :hug:
Reply
:icondays-be-strange:
days-be-strange Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
No problem. 
Reply
:iconpublicitart1:
Publicitart1 Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Student Interface Designer
Hello ,

Submit your poetry to be placed in postcard in an exhibition at the Alliance Française in Niteroi , Rio de Janeiro . Until May 10 .

Registration Form " Poetry in Pencas " : goo.gl/17LX1i

Example of how poetry will be shown at the Alliance Française : docs.google.com/file/d/0B2MViV…

Bidding Alliance Française available :
www.afniteroi.com.br/

Choose a theme to poetry :
1 - Respect for diversity is sustainable living .
2 - Love unites us: love between groups , couples in the world on the Internet .
3 A- Changing your feeling you change your action : A - Everything recycles up to you : feelings , energy, interior encounter , life longlearning = continuing education .
B - 3 Changing your feeling you change your action : Everything is recycled out of you : Digital Divide , mobility , education stages . Note: Everything is recycled : They'll have two images related recycles everything related to sewage recycling , using banana style of FOSSA ECOLOGICAL or septic tank .

QUEEP in touch !
Reply
:iconwei-en:
wei-en Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013
I was just revisiting some of the literature in my favourites and it struck my quite vividly again - just how mind-blowingly perfect the flow of this poem is. It's like a little creek or a scarf slipping off the table and the composition of ideas is just-

Then you went and reflected it perfectly in the visual form-
Reply
:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, thanks a lot! Glad you enjoy this so much, I feel flattered :hug:
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013   Writer
A late congratulations, ~miserabel This is a stroke of genius. Thank you.
Reply
:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug: thank you! You really are stroking my ego here :meow:
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013   Writer
:lol: You're welcome. :iconcopterglomp1plz::iconcopterglomp2plz:
Reply
:iconpostjudgement:
PostJudgement Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
The story is so simple, but it hits the reader right in the heart and just quivers for a little. I, for one, can't stop thinking about it. Thank you for writing this!
Reply
:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
And thank you for taking the time to read and comment :bow: good to hear that the story caught you like this.
Reply
:iconpostjudgement:
PostJudgement Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
my pleasure :)
Reply
:iconnichodo:
nichodo Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
"nuclear launch detected"

Nice shape and poem.
Reply
:iconprincesstwili:
PrincessTwili Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Heh, you know, I just saw an umbrella, and I know that's a bit off, but it kind of made sense if you think about tears and crying and that whole raincloud-of-sadness-over-Eeyore's-head kinda deal XD
So this has a slight double meaning, if that's worth anything :D
Reply
:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I suppose that works, if you squint :P and double meanings are always nice to stumble about.
Reply
:iconprincesstwili:
PrincessTwili Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Exactly :dummy:
Well, beautiful work, at any rate ;D
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
Reply
:iconkronos-kirbi:
kronos-kirbi Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
So powerful, very nice. Congrats on the DD.
Reply
:iconmistydawnamara:
MistyDawnAmara Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Anyone who cries for the masses is only crying for themselves. I heard that quote somewhere and just remembered it reading this. its nice to know someone else understands sort of what that means, i tried to explain it to my mom and she just thought i was selfish.
Reply
:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Nice quote, and it's true it's not an easy concept - but that's also the thing about poetry, someone out there is bound to understand :dummy:
Reply
:iconmistydawnamara:
MistyDawnAmara Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yeah^^
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Student General Artist
That's brilliant. It's nice, short, and to the point. The last lines are a kick in the tail of the reader! And the form of the concrete poem is very neat.
Reply
:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Cool that I managed to convey that "kick in the tail" :giggle: thank you!
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2013  Student General Artist
:D You're welcome dear!
Reply
:iconpuppyeyes427:
Puppyeyes427 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulations on the Daily Deviation mate!! ^^ You deserve it, this piece is amazing. <3

IT'S A GIANT MUSHROOM!!!!!! Maybe it's friendly~!!! >:3
Reply
:iconrosey-mae:
Rosey-Mae Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Student Digital Artist
For such a sad piece, the reference is really funny. :XD:
Reply
:iconpuppyeyes427:
Puppyeyes427 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
yeah. ^^
Reply
:iconsimplysilent:
SimplySilent Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
:heart: Congrats on the DD! :clap:
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
What I especially liked about this piece is that the spacing doesn't come across as unnatural: especially at the thin bit, I just found it worked nicely. :)
Reply
:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:rose:

I feel I should hug you for a few hours. But then that might seem a bit excessive. Ever so glad to have pleased you, it means a lot to have made something you felt more people of this site needed to see :bow:
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:giggle: Keep making more!
Reply
:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I shall aspire to do so, ma'am :salute:
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
Reply
:iconfalconboy:
FalconBoy Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
Fun fact: any sufficiently powerful explosion will displace enough air to create a mushroom cloud.
Reply
:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, interesting, I didn't know that :)
Reply
:iconperfling:
Perfling Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Student General Artist
DANG that's cool... especially since the most powerful line is in the thin part of the cloud, so the short sentences hit it home. Awesome!!
Reply
:iconlightningidle:
LightningIdle Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Love how the format reflects the poem.
Reply
:iconeuxiom:
Euxiom Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
:dummy: Oh snap, this got a DD. Awesome.
Reply
:iconlostgryphin:
LostGryphin Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Amazing - congrats on the DD - love how the format looks like a mushroom cloud
Reply
:iconlyladeathmetal:
LylaDeathmetal Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Student General Artist
wow thats hardcore.
\m/
Reply
:icongumigirl:
gumigirl Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow...that was really though-provoking. Congratulations on the daily deviation, you definitely deserve it. :iconmoesmileplz:
Reply
:iconthe-golden-knight:
The-Golden-Knight Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
Oh, how nice. Also congratulations! :salute:
Reply
:iconthexriser:
THEXRISER Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
the beauty of destruction,love it
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
    Congrats on the DD! :dalove:
    Have a nice day! :heart:
Reply
:iconkaizokuu:
kaizokuu Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist
oh ma gad, teemo is everywhare !!
Reply
:iconreflectionsinwater:
reflectionsinwater Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Very nice. The shape complements the excellent poem very nicely. :)
Reply
:iconwei-en:
wei-en Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
Simple but powerful.
Reply
:iconnilsxys:
nilsxys Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Very good poem!
Reply
:iconzjoriz:
zJoriz Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013
Well done! It's one of the most recognizable shapes in photographic history, but I haven't seen it in the form of a poem before...
Reply
:iconwinged-pencil:
winged-pencil Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Student General Artist
a truth *
Reply
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Submitted on
May 13, 2013
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