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:iconmiserabel: More from miserabel


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Prose by 91816119

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July 21, 2012
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And then she's trapped and she knows it, her body standing stiff against the wall with his eyes seizing her up. They are all but sparkling in something between amusement and the promise of unspeakable horrors and it breaks her heart again and again, to have him so close but so far from what she wished for, to have him right where she wanted him, but she never asked for all this pain, she didn't want this violence that was painted all across the cruel curves of his lips.

"Don't", she says, weakly, and he smirks at her, idly caressing her neck in a tantalizing show of slowness. Her breath catches in her throat, for even though he doesn't comment on it, the message is clear: I've got all the time in the world and you won't stop me.

She squeezes her eyes shut, willing the scene to disappear, willing the almost tender touch on her throat to stop feeling like a threat, willing to wake up and laugh it all off - but his rasping voice breaks through this intense wishing of hers, making her aware of her position in a way that makes it hard for her not to tear up.

"Is this not what you wanted, not what you begged for, to be my mistress?", he asks, but doesn't wait for an answer, all but ignoring the little gasp she makes (she didn't expect her heart to be capable of further pain), the way her eyes are prickling with tears, she will cry, and soon, and it won't help her at all. She knows this and so does he.

"Please", she starts again, her voice nearly breaking, and he draws back just a tiny little bit, letting her breathe for a moment, and shows all of his teeth in something that should have been a smile, but instead of offering comfort it just leads to desperation grabbing hold of her very core and she cannot help the little sob that escapes her throat, she is scared, so scared, and he still stands in a way that makes it obvious - oh, he won't let her forget - that she cannot escape, that she is completely cornered by his body.

"Oh, come on. You know you can beg better than that."

When he grabs a handful of her hair and pulls until she feels the tears streaming freely down her face, her mouth opened in a silent scream, she doesn't know if it hurts more than the way he had stomped on her heart, she doesn't know why she feels so numb.

Had the situation been any different, she would have wondered why she thought of nothing but the taste of him, this distinct smell of smoke, as if someone had emptied an ash tray into her mouth, when he presses his lips to hers, fleetingly. There were supposed to be fireworks, in every single one of her day dreams there were, but she is crying and all she can taste is salt.
This was written during the Write-Off of :iconwritersink:, Round 3, the prompts being trapped and creep.

I edited it further after that. The main reason I didn't submit this for the prize draw was that I felt it needed some refining.
Twenty minutes weren't quite enough for this :cough:

:bulletred: Yes, this is about rape.
I was thinking of an article I read concerning this topic while I wrote this. Frankly, the article both shocked and scared me, and for those reasons I consider it well worth the read.

:bulletred: "Society has allowed rapists to define what resistance is: screaming, crying, scratching, pushing, kicking, biting, punching. I didn't resist like that. My resistance was to wriggle a bit, turn my head away when he tried to kiss me, try to stop his hand going into my bra and knickers, push him ineffectually, talk about wanting to get my cab; all things which normal men recognise as not being enthusiastic participation when they are engaging with women but pretend it's a grey area when they talk about rape. Rapists have managed to get society to believe, that what I did, was consent.

Because I didn't resist in the way rapists - and society - say that women should resist, they define our non-participation as consent."

:bulletred: Read the whole thing here.

Feel free to copy and share this. A link back here is sufficient in case you do.
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:iconsmilewithlove:
smilewithlove Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
your wonderful piece of writing has been featured here [link]
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:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
woah, I'm featured among some awesome writers :faint: thank you thank you!
Reply
:iconsmilewithlove:
smilewithlove Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you're welcome, thank you for writing such a great piece
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:iconpinballwitch:
pinballwitch Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
Congrats on DLD :nod: definitely a topic that isn't talked about as much as it should be -- thanks for linking the blog post, too
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:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I agree! You're welcome for the link. And thank you :hug:
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:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there! Just a note to let you know I've featured this piece in my 2012 showcase of literature: [link] :D
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:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here [link]
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.
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:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, here I log on after a couple of weeks and I got a DLD :wow: thank you! I feel honored! :bow:
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:iconwillowpen:
WillowPen Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Student Writer
I wonder if people are afraid of this story, of its message, and that is why they click away without adding it to their favorites.
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:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I wonder too, tbh. It is not an easy message to swallow after all, so I suppose it is understandable :shrug:
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